11/9/2009
dancing shoes
I'm still trying to get used to my mini notebook's keyboard. It's the perfect size for an eight year old. Typo's must be forgiven for awhile...
Take your cautionary tales
And take your incremental gain
And all the sycophantic games
And throw 'em all away
I used to start these off with, "It's been a __________ day in the hollow." Those were the days I worked from home and watched the time go by from the windows of the cabin. Times have changed and much of what goes on isn't located here in the hollow, but scattered about. What I called the cabin then, I'm calling the big house now in all its grand 1,200 sf glory since I've been working on an actual cabin. So I suppose I should say that it's been a lovely weekend scurrying about from the hollow to the homestead.
Burn your TV in your yard
And gather 'round it with your friends
And warm your hands upon the fire
And start again
I got a good start to my woodpile, so I'm less apprehensive about the impending winter and my current lack of preparation. But I have something resembling a woodpile in my yard and the chimney sweep cleaned the chimney last week so I suppose I'm ready for winter to start creeping in.
Take the story you've been sold
The lies that justify the pain
The guilt the weighs upon your soul
And throw 'em all away
I had a conversation with a pastor friend recently about changes to our perspectives over the past year or two. In both our our cases, our opinions about the failures of western Christianity hasn't changed much, but rather our response to those feelings. At least in my case the idea is to put more intensive focus on a local level. Engage the people in front of you and on a deeper level and see what happens. Admittedly, there is a certain rush to be in the fray and trying to engage on a larger scale, but that's not where change happens. As I've told others, I've made more meaningful connections since I've been teaching at the university than I ever did in my years working for the church. It's little things like a former student showing up to my office to show him how to tie a tie because he knew that I would. Or just last week another former student came up to me in Wal-Mart to tell me he was transferring to another university to pursue a career in youth ministry. He and I had talked about this subject on various occasions over the past few months and he just wanted to let me know he'd made a decision. I've also spent hours one on one with students who are desperately trying to figure out how to deal with all the pitfalls of life while staying on the higher road.
Tear up the calendar you've bought
Throw the pieces to the sky
Confetti falling down like rain
Like a parade to usher in your life
I seldom had these kinds of conversations while I worked for the church because that's not where life really happens. Within the context of "church" we argue and plot about "church" stuff which simply creates a self perpetuating system and doesn't really help anyone. I'm finding church in the fringes these days. No bait and switch, no desperately trying to drag someone to "my church" to push the numbers up. Rather, it's "sit down and let's talk" or "how about some lunch?" or "yes you can bring your friends to dinner". (food seems to be a common denominator). Or it's a gentle conversation with a peer about a life of faith and earning a level of trust with someone that you might very well be the person they come to when life is raining down.
Take the dreams that should have died
The ones that kept you lying awake
When you should've been all right
And throw 'em all away
These are not things that can be done in systematic and quantifiable ways. We don't do them because we are after another objective/goal. We do this because we love people and it is core to our DNA and that is something that can not be put on an annual report.
With the time I waste
On the life I never had
I could've turned myself
Into a better man
For me this brings a new light to the bit where Jesus told some folks about a guy throwing a party and he invited all the fat cats and self important folk. Turns out nobody from that crowd came and it pissed him off something terrible. So he threw open the doors and started bringing in anybody who would come to eat and they had a delightful time. For a long time I tried to party with a bunch of people who had better things to do. So I don't call them anymore, I have a new pair of dancing shoes and a bunch of people who have no money or influence to offer me and we're tearing up the dance floor.
'Cause there ain't nothing you can buy
There is nothing you can save
To fill the hole inside your heart
So throw it all away
Won't fill the hole inside your heart
Help me to empty out this house
The wool I've gathered all these days
And thought I couldn't do without
And throw it all away
In the mean time...live well...laugh often...love always.
Delibrio Animosus,
Billy
Song: Throw it All Away, Toad the Wet Sprocket
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